Amazing Grace
from the Just Because collection (2002-2006)
Many years ago, I had the opportunity to attend a lecture by renowned author Elisabeth KüblerRoss. She was tiny in stature yet a giant in reputation—a true Yoda-like figure. At this gathering, Ross held the audience of several thousand transfixed by her wisdom and compassion. She told stories that moved us to laughter and tears. I’ve thought often of her work as I’ve travelled my life-path. Her wisdom helped me understand the complexities of death. I have also found that her thoughts are applicable to all of life’s passages. Her seven stages of grief are well known: shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. Within the context of grieving over the loss of a loved one, a person’s behaviour may shift back and forth within the seven areas of this psychological spectrum. Moving to a daily acceptance of death is certainly a challenge. Each day, however, we can find ourselves in situations that are less traumatic. Time heals.
Ross gave me permission to love myself. Central to everything she writes, is a person’s capacity to love. Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you are boastful or that you try to manipulate a given situation so that you come first. It’s really about self acceptance: It’s about finding a way to move through life knowing who you are and loving yourself; faults, foibles, and all. It’s self destructive to live a life of “Why me?” when a more positive affirmation might be “Here I am!” as a proclamation. Consider it your personal declaration of independence.
Say it with me: “Here I Am! I’m not perfect (but I’m trying to be) I’m not always kind (but I’m working on it). I love myself for who I was, who I am and who I will become.”
I’m able to relax when I realize that some of the inevitabilities of life can be self-forgiven. My part in life’s inevitabilities may be major or minor. I may have felt like I was occasionally watching from offstage. It doesn’t matter how I’m called upon for my scripted moment, at least I can acknowledge that I’m present. Loving myself is about letting my heart and mind be partners. Loving myself allows me to collect information while still using my feelings. I’m happy that I can accept myself while realistically finding a way forward. That’s a measure of grace.